Pardon my English
I was born and raised in Israel, (7th generation on my father’s side). I am the daughter of a writer and a writer myself, I define myself in Hebrew.
I don’t think that my English is a total disgrace, I read hundreds of English pages every day, my work is being done mainly in English, lately, I even find myself thinking in English, it is just that Hebrew is so much more generous to me…
Hebrew offers me synonyms and metaphors and word-plays, it is a tool I can create worlds with, and then tare them apart, while my English is lackluster and well, dull. Not to mention my grammar…
So for almost 3 years, I shut up (mostly) and read a lot. I worked like crazy to figure and establish the site I was missing and dreaming about, and now, I feel it’s time I shared my journey.
When I was sick, I promised myself I will never be ashamed to do anything I want to do. So I’ve decided to let go of the hang ups and start writing, and the only way this specific story can be told, is in my own voice – even if it is damaged and imperfect… guess what?! So is my breast…
I really hope you will join this ride, and please, pardon my English…
Call me Shallow
It was Pinkoctober 2007. I was just separated after 13.5 years of complicated marriage. My kids were 12 & 9 & Broken. I was 40, a published writer and multi discipline artist, which meant I had no steady, or other, income; and just when I thought that anything that can go wrong has already went so wrong, then, came Polly*…
*Polly – my new pet, my Infiltrating ductal carcinoma, stage 1b grade 3, triple negative, BRCA1, double mastectomy, immediate reconstruction, adjuvant chemo, 3 additional reconstructions since.
There was not even one arena, in which I didn’t have to fight. Wherever I turned, there were struggles and challenges waiting to be solved.
But the one fight, which was inconceivably pointless and beyond my comprehension, was managing my everyday life, with the lack of accessibility and items, which were designed to answer my new and ever changing needs.
The last time I was so frustrated from that kind of “non-important stuff” was 13 years before, when I was pregnant, and all I could wear, were huge men shirts with leggings…
In both cases, I was overwhelmed; I was dealing with hope and fear, while undergoing a dramatic change in my life, my mind and my body. But, while maternity’s final output, is definitely a great reward for all the above, Cancer sucks.
The changes surgeries and treatments brought were extreme and cruel, within 3 months I’ve lost my 2 breasts, my hair and almost 20 pound of my weight.
Call me Shallow, but I wanted to feel pretty, at each and every phase of treatment and surgeries. Call me Rotten Spoiled, but I wanted to be comfort and confident, even when my breast was wounded, or when my head was bald. You can try calling me a Chauvinist, cooperating with the flatness perceptions of Beauty and Sensuality, but even if you were right, still, I wanted to feel beautiful…
It was Pinkoctober 2008 when I finished treatment; it was only then that I started deconstructing the hell I went through, and felt lonely and misunderstood. It took some long blogosphere nights, to figure, I was not alone and a few more to realize, there is so much to be done.
So, It took some time to recover, it took some time to sort the women I’ve become and figure the roads I should take. It took time, to meet the amazing, generous, smart mentors, which were just there, when I needed, and to find good partners, that see that have experienced the same firsthand (or other organs, but who counts..?!)
It is the end of Pinkoctober 2012. And here I am, a scared Survivor of all those fights, on my way to accomplish the mission: An easy path, to help us all cope with visibility issues, establish a source for all the knowledge and experience that exists between us, and add some normality into the routine of women coping with Breast Cancer.
The name is curediva.com – it will be launching soon as the holistic one stop shop and community, to all these “day to day” and lifestyle matters, which eventually makes life during Breast Cancer and beyond, for what it is. It might not save lives, but it is certainly going to make it easier and prettier… Well, yes, I guess you can call me Shallow, but I prefer Efrat
My hero
I didn’t take any picture for a while. Been too sick or busy or both. When I looked at the mirror on that day, there was so much pain and grief looking back at me, that it was only when my reflection started to cry, that I realized it was me.
About me
My name is Efrat Roman
I Was born in Jerusalem on 1967. I am the mother of Eden and Adam. A published writer: ‘Iroshalem” (Babel publishers. Israel 2003). “A present absentee” (“Fathers and Daughters” anthology – Modan publishers. 2002). “Autoimmunity” (a novel in process), and a multi disciplinary and multitasked person and artist. I am also an autodidact, addicted to web exploring and nature phenomena, and a Breast Cancer survivor.
Ever since I recovered, I’ve become an entrepreneur and Co-founded CureDiva.com, - a social-commerce initiative devoted to women coping with breast cancer.
I have studied: Philosophy at T.A. University (1998-1990). Script-writing and Film directing at Camera Obscura School of Visual Arts, Tel Aviv (1990-1993), and Sculpting, at Beit Berl Academy of Art (1999).
I have been: Vegetarian (1979-1994). Married (1994-2007). In the Israeli Army Intelligence (1985-1987). An air attendant (1989-1992). A 1st and 2nd Assistant Director in many films (1990-1995). A copywriter and scriptwriter for some leading advertising agencies (1993-1995).
I am still: A Writer, photographer, inventor. A Creative wizard. A ceremony facilitator within “Havaya”- a secular and plural Judaism organization. A very good friend and huger. A perfectionist. Curious. Accurate. Faithful. Alive.
Here I will be sharing many of the above. I will try to keep it in some kind of order, but since all these fragments are parts of who I am, I guess from time to time, it’ll all be mixed…
Glad to have you here, your comments are mostly welcomed
Nice to meet
Efrat
