• by Admin on October 30, 2012 in Based on a true story, Photoroman<br />2 comments
  • by Admin on November 10, 2012 in Based on a true story, Photoroman<br />17 comments
  • by Admin on October 30, 2012 in Based on a true story, Photoroman<br />2 comments
My blog, where all these fragments unite, to what appears to be my life...
3
Jun

We are living in a world obsessed with breasts

Angelina Jolie and myself (!) on the cover of Haaretz Magazine 

http://www.haaretz.com/news/features/the-jolie-dilemma-we-live-in-a-world-obsessed-with-breasts.premium-1.524654

 

18
Apr

5 Years. No evidence of tumor

Apparently, I have NO Cancer.

I can insure my life again, if I want to.

It’s 5 years since my Diagnosis,

and my MRI results say,

that my spine is a mass,

But, apparently,

I have NO Cancer.

The return of IT

As an OPTION

The returning to The Smells & The Sights & The Sounds

Are still totally ALIVE

in my Body.

The Fear.

I thought I’d continue everything, that I anyway do

I thought I might try first, other Treatment Methods

I thought of my KIDS

I thought of my Hair

I thought of all my metastatic friends.

I knew it was not a life sentence.

And only then, when I felt I was ready for it all,

I opened the envelope,

that I brought home, 51 minutes before.

It seems that my spine is a mass,

but 

IT IS NOT CANCER!!!!

Hallelujah!

Thanks God for AFTER TREATMENT.

[Now I can go back to treating my spine and all my other After Treatment symptoms: my joints, my skin, my concentration, my memory, my teeth, my gums, my sleep,  my awaiting reconstruction no. 4]

And finally, a little tale with a moral: My Grandma, (who died of Breast and Ovarian Cancer at the age of 58) used to say: Got, shrek mich, uber shtroof mich nicht…

which is in Yiddish: God, scare me, but don’t punish…

And though I don’t believe that punishment and guilt, have anything to do with cancer, I find the fact that SHREK is eventually a nice Jewish guy, worth spreading…

 

 

12
Apr

5 years later

cancer center

Five years later,

Same corridor.

Evening falls on the medical center.

It takes one to know, what I mean.

The corridor to the Cancer Center.

On my way to a PET CT.

I was thinking, I’d be on my way, to

5 years CURED.

Maybe…

Results will arrive in 10 working days.

It’s Independence Day in Israel next week.

Only one day after Memorial Day.

My body reActs badly to the Hospital SmeLLs.

The visions are familiar and carry nausea and fatigue.

I am Detached.

I am RadioActive.

Radioactive1

Inhale.

Exhale.

Don’t open your EYES.

Imagine you are in an open field.

Think Positive.

Don’t think.

We’re done.

החזרה לשורק

Ten working days. Excluding memories.

I am not Afraid, neither Certain.

Innocent, until proven guilty.

Inhale. Exhale.

Everything in it’s right place\ Radiohead\ Kid A

12
Feb

My Instagram

1
Feb

Far Out

31
Jan

That’s me…

31
Jan

1.5 Years of documentation, 4 start ups, 2 directors, 1 step at a time

18
Jan

The SHAVE Take 1

MY KIDS.
MY VERY BEST FRIEND.
ONE ELECTRIC RAZOR.
ME & MY CANCER are going  P U B L I C

T

 

THE SOUNDTRACK (Kids choice)

 

The VoiCES IN my HEAD

Part of me wished for a heroic death:

It was my HAIR

And I was George Berger !

Going to a war I never chose,

Wearing smells from laboratories

Facing a dying option…

That very same night, I wrote a note to self:

Giving up is NOT an Option

This note stayed on top of my board for 3 years.

Let the Sunshine in.

 

Fallen leaves

10
Nov

Rapunzel

At first, ALL I could think about, were THE CHILDREN
then,
The thought of DEATH went through my head
But, from the moment it reached there, whenever I thought of myself,
It was ALL
about my
HAIR

For 6 weeks -
The time between my diagnosis and the beginning of chemotherapy -
I had only
Great HAIR Days.

I woke up with the WEirdeSt head ace EVER 
It felt as if someone was pulling
Each
Hair
s e p a r a t e l y .
It was Exactly 2 weeks, after my 1st Chemo.
Exactly the way THEY said it would be.
Next Day was
 my
 SHAVING DAY

30
Oct

Pardon my English

I was born and raised in Israel, (7th generation on my father’s side). I am the daughter of a writer and a writer myself, I define myself in Hebrew.
I don’t think that my English is a total disgrace, I read hundreds of English pages every day, my work is being done mainly in English, lately, I even find myself thinking in English, it is just that Hebrew is so much more generous to me…
Hebrew offers me synonyms and metaphors and word-plays, it is a tool I can create worlds with, and then tare them apart, while my English is lackluster and well, dull. Not to mention my grammar…
So for almost 3 years, I shut up (mostly) and read a lot. I worked like crazy to figure and establish the site I was missing and dreaming about, and now, I feel it’s time I shared my journey.
When I was sick, I promised myself I will never be ashamed to do anything I want to do. So I’ve decided to let go of the hang ups and start writing, and the only way this specific story can be told, is in my own voice – even if it is damaged and imperfect… guess what?! So is my breast…
I really hope you will join this ride, and please, pardon my English…

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